Morning's Light

Hungry, I stroll into my [male] office-neighbor's office, and ask, "What's for dinner?"

"I don't know……shrimp!!"

{making a face} "Oh."

"What? You don't EAT shrimp???"

"Um…uh…no…I uh… don't like eating food where I can picture the live animal or insect.  Beef and chicken I've tried to distance the thought of what I'm eating but have yet to try something like rabbit, turtle or SHRIMP because I just picture the live animal or insect."

"What? So would you eat a carrot? A worm has probably crawled all over it….."

"and violated it, I know.."

"VIOLATED IT? I wouldn't go there.", shaking his head as if I were crazy.

Time for a change of topic. "Ooohhh..carrots.  Have you heard of Demetri Martin?  He has a funny bit about when fruits and veggies were named.  An orange* was named an orange for its color.  Then they got to carrots and were stumped. 'Umm…long pointies??!'" 

"Ha ha." (polite laugh)

"Aaaand he does a bit about…"

"What about grapes**?  It's not called a Purple?  And bananas? It's not called a Yellow, is it???"

(sigh) "You're right! The orange is unique.", leaving his office, still hungry, but not for carrots or shrimp.

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*"They obviously named oranges before carrots:  'What are those?'    'Oranges'  'Then what are THESE?' 'Long pointies…..crap'"

**Demetri Martin: My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. 'Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you're stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem – just move on to the next. 'Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.'